Barbara Ellen Chestney's Obituary
Barbara Ellen Chestney, 87, passed away peacefully in Wellington, Florida on March 3, 2023. Barbara was predeceased by her husband David Chestney; parents Max & Cecilia Gendel and sister Rosalie Grief. Barbara was survived by her loving children David (Arunee) Salonsky, Marc (Sharon) Salonsky, Louis (Claire) Chestney, Robin (Barry) Drexler and Madeline Sorrentino (Frank Tangredi); grandchildren Joshua (Sarah), Geremiah (Stefanie), Jack, Melanie, Francesca, Gilda, Ilana, Andrew (Rhiannon), and Mark; great grandchildren Adina, Shia, Aryeh and Naftali. Brother Howard (Marcia), several cousins, nieces & nephews.
Memorial Contributions may be made in Barbara's honor to the St. Jude Children’s Hospital https://www.stjude.org/donate.
A Memorial Service will be held for Barbara on March 12, 2023, at 1:45 pm at Beth Israel Memorial Chapel, 11115 Jog Road, Boynton Beach, Florida 33437.
Our parents are both warm, loving, caring, well spoken, worldly travelers, who were united after great tragedies of losing their spouses. From that union, 52 years later, we are a united supportive family and now more than ever, we siblings stood side by side while mom was losing the battle, even though we are spread throughout the USA. We all may not have been physically with our parents, but there were numerous zoom calls, facetimes and phone calls. We were there in their ears constantly. Mom always said she had the greatest gift any parent could have, that all of her children got along.
In May our families will gather together In Florida to honor our parents. There will be a VA memorial service honoring dad. We will lay both to rest at that time.
Now at the end of their lives, mom passed exactly 10 weeks later. It most definitely is sad, but it is not surprising, and in many ways speaks to the strong love & bond between our parents. Losing dad was hard on mom. She kept saying she was sad, she missed dad so much. She was heartbroken.
Mom loved reading in the later years. She loved watching PBS. She became a walker. She loved the social life the Club provided once they moved to Florida. She learned to play Mahjong. In the early years, she loved to paint. There always was an easel set up it the “new room”. Most of us have a painting of hers hanging up in our houses as a remembrance. The paintings in mom & dad house show the expansive love of art, as can be seen in the unique pieces they collected. Along with the art are the many tokens from their travels around the world. It is wonderful that they took the time to be by themselves when we were young. It may have had to do with keeping their sanity too.
They loved to travel the world. Most of us were very lucky to either be in a place where they traveled to, such as France, Thailand, Japan & Australia or went on trips with them to Turkey, Greece, Italy, the Caribbean & Hawaii. They taught us to go out & see the world & learn about various cultures. What a wonderful gift to give, from those insights we now have wonderful sisters in laws.
Mom worked as a legal secretary for years. She practiced her shorthand to make sure she was the best. At some point, all children worked in Suerken's Restaurant, and Robin, Dave & Marc even ran it so they could travel. In our teen years, like clockwork at 10pm, dad was home from a very long day's work. Mom always had an authentic homemade Caesar salad waiting. She made sure it was ready & taught us how to make it. Sometimes we stepped in to give her a break. Early on, it had to be lonely waiting for dad to come home from those long workdays. As time went by, they bought the loft in Manhattan, to ease the daily commute. Then eventually they sold the Long Island house & moved into the loft full time. She loved living in the city and working in the restaurant. It allowed her to see Dad so much more. Mom worked by dads' side & ran the kitchen, baking deserts to everyone's delight. They even had David’s Bar Mitzvah at the restaurant. Mom baked thousands of cookies for several months, this is where the baking all began.
Looking back, our parents provided a great childhood for us, though not always the easiest with 5 of us. We can all remember that when we became 1 family, how much she took on at first and didn’t ask for too much help from us. She would work, cook, do house tasks, and take care of us. But as we were growing up, she made sure she taught us.
The Berkshires, the barn gave our parents a weekend sanctuary from Manhattan, getting there on the Taconic, not so much. We all visited as much as possible. So many great times were had by all. Dad loved his garden & each year it grew larger & larger, and mom fixed us sorts of great salads & vegetables. Then there was “The Pond”. The pond gave many joyous hours to us all. Then there was hunting for frogs. The grandkids had a ball, Josh & Geremiah started it & then Jack was inducted when he was still a toddler. They took their pail & ran to find grandma to get one of her strainers. Then the adventure began, everyone had a ball watching them catch huge frogs & then releasing them. There was always banter about having frogs’ legs for dinner.
Mom loved hot stone massages. It was so much fun seeing her laugh aloud at comedy shows.
Mom loved her Chai Latte which she always doctored up with chocolate and other spices. You could always find her with the kitchen with a broom, sweeping in Florida. She loved chocolate.
Mom was very proud of all of her family. She always asked & loved hearing & chatting with the grandkids. She loved having the kids & grandkids visit.
Mom was sweet until the end. Mom always told it like it was. She was open & honest. She didn’t mince words.
Our parents were best friends, so few have that true honor. They loved each other's company, thankfully so, especially when being stuck home these last 3 years. Just being in the same house or garage watching passers go, but always keeping an eye on each other. They spoke honestly & said what they had to say to each other. During these sometimes-loud discussions, she would suddenly say, ENOUGH, and that ended the discussion & they moved forward together. Dad was caring and patient with mom until his end and that worked both ways. They looked out for each other always. He tried his best to outlive mom, but after passing, he passed the reins on to his five children, daughters & sons in laws & grandkids to watch over mom, which we all so gladly did. We thank you both and love you both dearly. You are already missed by all of us.
Friday morning on the day mom passed on Arunee’s way out of the house, mom mustered up enough strength to blow her one last kiss. In New York we had gray skies, all except one small patch where I could see a perfect rainbow. It was her path in the end.
We can all say, we were incredibly lucky to have mom as our mother and Dad as our dad. We will always love you. You will be in our hearts & memories forever. Rest in peace.
What’s your fondest memory of Barbara?
What’s a lesson you learned from Barbara?
Share a story where Barbara's kindness touched your heart.
Describe a day with Barbara you’ll never forget.
How did Barbara make you smile?
