Marilyn Askin's Obituary
It is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to Marilyn Askin. Marilyn was a tough, fearless, intelligent person, with an irrepressible spirit and indomitable strength. She was a relentless fighter for the most vulnerable and marginalized among us.
Marilyn always marched to her own drummer, laughing in the face of traditional customs and mores of more conservative bygone days. She was always pushing political, cultural, and social limits, often to find society catching up with her values within a decade or two. Hers was a circuitous path. Born to immigrant Jews from Eastern Europe, Marilyn was raised to appreciate the value of education, studying at CCNY, Berkeley, Columbia’s Russian Institute, and Rutgers Law School, and never stopped her quest for knowledge late into her 80s, running trivia and current events in her retirement community, and taking up improv in her 80s. She also took her legal chops into her newly adopted Florida retirement community, once again championing rights of the elderly.
Marilyn started out as a journalist, floating somewhere between New Jersey, Paris, and Moscow, but always desired to make the news, rather than just to report it. To put her husband, Frank, through law school, Marilyn entered the lucrative field of English teaching at Newark’s Weequahic High. Once her husband graduated, it was Marilyn’s turn to go to law school, with three young children in tow, at a time when such a path was largely untrodden by women, let alone women with children. Her children always wondered how Frank got to go to law school first – perhaps it was a lost coin toss.
Upon graduation, Marilyn worked with the American Jewish Congress, the NJ Public Defender, and as staff counsel to the Public Documents Commission in the wake of the Nixon resignation, but then found her life’s mission – championing the rights of the elderly. Marilyn pioneered the field of Elder Law in New Jersey, ultimately coming to be known as the Godmother of NJ Elder Law, first as a Legal Services attorney, then as an elder law practitioner and professor, and then as President of the New Jersey AARP. Over the course of forty years, Marilyn trained thousands of future elder lawyers, started the Elder Law Section of the NJ State Bar Association, and established Elder Law programming for NJ Institute for Continuing Legal Education.
Marilyn was also a lifelong champion for women's rights, breaking down both personal and societal barriers and paving the way for equal treatment and opportunity, including through establishment of the Essex County Chapter of the National Organization of Women.
A perpetual globe-trotter and adventurer, Marilyn folk danced her way around the world on cultural, legal, and political missions to advance global cooperation and community. Regardless of the political agenda, she always relished immersing herself in new cultures.
Marilyn and her husband, Frank, spent much of their lives fighting their battles as partners in arms, be those battles in the judicial courts or on the tennis courts, or in the halls of Congress or the halls of justice. As their knees gave out, they took their battles to the bridge tables, becoming Life Masters in short order, a pursuit which she claims kept their minds agile well into their late 80s. Frank passed away in 2021. Coincidentally, Marilyn and Frank each spent 32682 days on this planet, a temporal mathematical fact that, perhaps, underscores the nature of their shared mission and partnership.
Marilyn was a devoted mother to her three children: Andrea, Jonathan, and Daniel. She was also a beloved grandmother to Jacob and Sam. Andrea passed away in 2018, but Marilyn continued to love and support her surviving children and grandchildren with all her heart. Marilyn is also survived by her sister, Dr. Phyllis Klein, and her daughter-in-law, Jennifer McCarthy and Jennifer’s daughter, and Jonathan’s step-daughter, Lucy Elliott.
Though she has left us, her legacy lives on in the hearts of those she inspired and the quixotic causes for which she fought with all her might and energy. We say goodbye to Marilyn Askin, but her memory will never fade.
A graveside service will be held on Friday January 6, 2023, 1:00 PM at Wellwood Cemetery, Farmingdale, New York.
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